Gruffness

When leaving our house by car, we must cross at least one bridge. When driving to the highway, we pass two to three on a short stretch alone. Despite this, I have yet to see even one troll in all the months we've lived here.

I surmise this is because we do not present a threat to the trolls. That, or they wisely choose to stay well out of the way of my speed-demon wife. They might also be glued to their computers, hunt-n-pecking away at their usenet posts. (How they get access under a bridge is beyond my comprehension.) It might be a mix of the three, but I'm also certain that there's another factor. We do not present a threat because we are not goats. Not only are we not goats, but I've never seen a goat trip-trop-trapping across a bridge, whatever trip-trop-trapping is.

And why is this?

Well, it's quite simple--the goats are all chained to tires in my neighbors' yards.