realexplodingcat: (eeek)
explodingcat ([personal profile] realexplodingcat) wrote2005-01-05 02:32 pm

(no subject)

Between screaming under the weight of a million things to do and wanting to hide in a hole (and pay rent to do so) because I dread what I've gotten myself into, owning my first home actually feels rather awesome. I own every nail and hunk of wood in the house. I can paint walls. I can knock down walls.

I own a chunk of the Earth itself. I intend to charge crickets and squirrels rent. Can I charge the worms rent? Just how far down into the Earth's crust can I dig before I legally pass beyond the boundaries of my property? I used to love the old game Dig-Dug. I can't wait to play it again in my own yard. I've always wanted to see the Earth's mantle.

But there is one aspect of homeowning that has me troubled. I suddenly feel as if I've become The Man. Granted, I was born a white male in this country, which pretty much got me half way to being The Man before I had even developed the manual dexterity to pick up a coin and eat it. But as soon as I bought the house I immediately became aware of all the ways in which people and their behavior affect the value of my property, the value of the properties around my properties, and the value of each city block. Will I become the The Man who casts disparaging remarks at renters and who jumps for joy when genuine owners live in the houses around me? Will I become The Man who walks by the subsidized housing units and think, "Yup, those gotta go. That's prime real estate. Downtown really ought to expand and push those suckers out in favor of high-end retail and condominiums." Will I become The Man who puts different property value tags on people based upon their skin color or the way they dress? Dear God...will I become a Republican?

I suppose as long as I remain uncomfortable with these thoughts, I'll be OK. If ever these thoughts stop disturbing me, then I will know my soul has left me (and I probably won't care). However, I know enough about myself that I cannot truly be The Monk or The Punk (two archetypes about which I could right another essay of comparison and contrast). I enjoy being an active participant in our culture and society too much to run toward the other extreme. As in all things, I will try to take the middle path: participate in this society while expecting and respecting ethnic, cultural, and economic diversity.

Now give me a shovel, I'm digging down into my property and won't stop until I strike lava.

[identity profile] blixa23.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Now give me a shovel, I'm digging down into my property and won't stop until I strike lava.

1. Call before you dig! It's the law. You also don't want to dig through your cable and disable your broadband. [livejournal.com profile] krasota will have your testes.
2. Instead of a shovel, consider a gas-powered auger. Thousands of fence post digging professionals can't be wrong.
3. Asbestos is your friend.

You do realize now that owning a parcel of land in Virginia means that you need to register and own a hunting rifle, so that you can chase squirrels and children from your property. Vocally practice this phrase: "GIT OFF MAH LAY-AND!"

[identity profile] krasota.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
We don't have buried cable here, they sling it across the power lines and hook it in through the rafters. Of course, we're opting for portable broadband. Take that, ya uncivilized line-freak!

[identity profile] blixa23.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course, we're opting for portable broadband.

Prude U. is working on it. Several 802.11b towers to be set up city-wide.*
Of course, you have to be affiliated w/ them to use it...but if it happens, I kill the DSL account.

So go get your husband a hunting rifle already! Or maybe just a Red Ryder model air rifle w/ compass in the stock.

*a lofty goal, which may not happen anytime soon

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I need a crossbow. I actually live inside a "town" in Virginia. Virginia does have an urban archery deer season.

By the way, thanks for the tip. I will call our local Miss Utility line before I dig my hole to China.

Tunes...

[identity profile] flynnk.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Dig a whole perpendicular...

Re: Tunes...

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2005-01-06 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't want the world, I just want your half.

[identity profile] lightning-rose.livejournal.com 2005-01-05 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)

One word. Fibre.