AT&T

I just received my second call from AT&T Long Distance in as many days. Apparently, my decision to not switch long distance yesterday wasn't convincing enough.

"Hello, this is AT&T Long Distance"
"You guys called me yesterday"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you have chance to go over all of our wonderful benefits?"
"Yes, and I didn't want to switch"
"Do you still feel that way today?"
"Can we just save each other time and..."
"What I most want to ask you is do you have a long distance plan now"
"I haven't changed my mind today. I'm very happy with my long distance plan. I have a tin can with several pieces of string that criss-cross the country to tin cans in the homes of the people I call the most. Sure the string snaps whenever the weather gets bad or cars run over it enough times between here and New Jersey or wild animals chew through it or birds make nests with it, but frankly it's cheap and no corporate maniac with legions of telemarketers are responsible for maintaining the line for me. In fact, I only need several trained moose instructed to bite anyone that comes near the line for maintainence. You should see those things gobble down those pesky nest-building birds. It's like hungry hippos, only with moose and birds. Did I ever tell you I built a phone out of a hungry hippo game? Real nice. You can just clip those munching hippos on your ears and walk around. Hands-free phone. By the way, do you have a phone? I'd like to sell you my hungry hippo phone. It gets better rates than your current phone and has a special filter that blocks out the voices of people you don't want to talk to. It's a little faulty, often blocking out all voices, but it's a valuable service"

If AT&T calls me again...I'm going to start suspecting I'm a victim of some evil conspiracy.

AT&T

I just received my second call from AT&T Long Distance in as many days. Apparently, my decision to not switch long distance yesterday wasn't convincing enough.

"Hello, this is AT&T Long Distance"
"You guys called me yesterday"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you have chance to go over all of our wonderful benefits?"
"Yes, and I didn't want to switch"
"Do you still feel that way today?"
"Can we just save each other time and..."
"What I most want to ask you is do you have a long distance plan now"
"I haven't changed my mind today. I'm very happy with my long distance plan. I have a tin can with several pieces of string that criss-cross the country to tin cans in the homes of the people I call the most. Sure the string snaps whenever the weather gets bad or cars run over it enough times between here and New Jersey or wild animals chew through it or birds make nests with it, but frankly it's cheap and no corporate maniac with legions of telemarketers are responsible for maintaining the line for me. In fact, I only need several trained moose instructed to bite anyone that comes near the line for maintenance. You should see those things gobble down those pesky nest-building birds. It's like hungry hippos, only with moose and birds. Did I ever tell you I built a phone out of a hungry hippo game? Real nice. You can just clip those munching hippos on your ears and walk around. Hands-free phone. By the way, do you have a phone? I'd like to sell you my hungry hippo phone. It gets better rates than your current phone and has a special filter that blocks out the voices of people you don't want to talk to. It's a little faulty, often blocking out all voices, but it's a valuable service"

If AT&T calls me again...I'm going to start suspecting I'm a victim of some evil conspiracy.

(no subject)

Oh my dear sweet jumping jesus on a pogo stick.

AT&T just called me again. Twice in as many hours.

At least this time the guy just hung up without a polite goodbye when I told him someone called me an hour ago.