How to stay amused with my job.

So, I'm mucking around in the database, changing some values in tables, when I receive this error: "Transaction cannot start while in firehose mode." I like that. What could possibly go wrong on the server that would require the database to go into "firehose mode." I'm sure there's a rational, technical explanation, but I prefer to think that I did something from my remote country office that somehow made the server in Arlington burst into flames.

If I could really do that, I think the Navy would be interested. Most of my work these days is for the Navy. Now, I'm not usually a big fan of the military, but I have a soft spot in my heart for pirates and brigands. It is my dream that the Navy will use our software to improve communication among themselves via the internet. The secret underground network of homosexual naval personnel (all of whom have fiercely homosexual navels) will connect via our software and plan a coup. The navy will transform into a great gay flotilla that secedes from the United States, roaming the seas as the largest group of cooperating pirates in history, using my software to create flaming servers that require a firehose mode. That would make my "Wow! Team Award" from a navy Rear Admiral take on quite a different meaning.