Home Alone, Day 4

I'm keeping myself well entertained without krasota. In between fits of staring into the bathroom mirror and screaming, I started cleaning house. Krasota will be glad to know that my cleaning was not completed through the use of any bulldozers or raging fires, despite the efficiency with which those methods could have completed my goals.

Priority one was clearing the floors so I could vacuum up the layer of dog dander settled onto the carpets. Previously, it was like a snowy winter wonderland of dog dander. Thank Anubis poodles don't shed hair, otherwise eilonwy could knit herself another poodle (if I let aleiphein knit a new poodle, hers would have at least eight legs).

Extra poodles, no matter how many legs, would be a terrible thing. After all, I did spend much of the day watching Eilonwy and Jericho Poodle competing over which of them could be the most adorable. Each cute doggy antic sent Eilonwy into paroxysms of glee which further encouraged Jericho to ratchet up the poodle-ness which...you see the pattern. If we hadn't gone to the Tea House for dinner (or someone had knitted another few poodles) a super massive black hole of cute & adorable would have formed in my house. The singularity in my living room would have turned the Earth inside out, like so: imagine, if you will, that your belly button is infinitely deep and exerts infinite vacuum-like power (nothing sucks like an Electrolux) once you pass the event horizon of your washboard abs (flattery will get me everywhere). Now bend over and dive head first into your own navel.

You can thank me later for saving the planet.