realexplodingcat | Silent Muse - Part 1: Before the Show

Behind the cut, Part 1 of my slightly lengthy account of my first performance with the band. Part 2: The Show will arrive whenever I write it, possibly later tonight.

For someone who spent most of his young life resisting learning an instrument until he could get private lessons because he feared that someone might notice him on stage among an entire orchestra of other kids, I am quite satisfied, perhaps even surprised, with my first live music performance.

I awoke yesterday morning with a slight sense of excitement, a noticeable increase in heart rate, and the awareness that something different was in store for me that day. Prior to sound check I endured about an hour of feeling like a little boy in his first school play and was considering asking someone to bring a pointy stick with which to prod me when it was time for the show. That feeling passed as sound check progressed and by the end the only thing I was concerned about was how tired I was (which I'm concerned with every day, so that was nothing new). Overall, I felt good about the coming show, even if singer

solieri left sound check on a bad note because his voice was already threatening to give out under the stress of singing with a lingering illness.

Pre-show dinner actually proved to be the most challenging for me. Due to some occasional wonky blood sugar issues, I often feel weird around meal time. The feeling is increased when I eat out, probably something to do with the waiting and the need to sit still politely in my chair for so long. So, I can often feel restless at the table. On top of this, I broke a cardinal rule of athletic performance that I think applies to any performance: Don't eat food your body has little to no experience with...just in case there's a disagreement. For some reason, I neglected this rule. I had some grilled octopus in a larger quantity than I've ever had and I gladly took the slightly cooked, almost raw, shrimp that

xiane wisely turned down. I think it was that shrimp. Shortly after eating it (which I rather enjoyed) I suddenly felt disconnected from the world and this fuzzy burst of energy filled my head, not unlike what happens when you eat a dangerous amount of horseradish (but I did not have any wasabi with my meal). As each wave of this weirdness hit me I wondered if this one would cause me to lose consciousness. None did, but I was still left thinking, "Great...I'm going to drop dead and really let the other guys in the band down." Fortunately, (for unfortunate reasons better left to another story) I have a lot of experience weathering frighteningly bizarre physical sensations. So, I kept my cool as well as possible and gradually discovered that whatever just happened, wasn't going to happen again. But I was still a bit on edge.

After dinner, with over two hours to wait before show time, I found myself struck with a slight indecision over whether I wanted to be sitting still or walking around. But otherwise I didn't feel any more excited or nervous than I usually do hanging out in a club before seeing a show. I ended up sitting, peacefully distracting myself with good conversation with guitarist

nothingoth and some other folks. I decided to skip the pre-show shot o' booze. Since I don't often drink and I suffered that weird reaction to the shrimp, I decided to play it safe. Around this time, I noticed I was feeling rather good. Consequently, I wasn't concerned about the show, as I have been playing my parts in the songs perfectly during band practice. Granted, I occasionally need to refer to some sheet music to jog my memory regarding when I should play certain parts. And in one song that I'm finding difficult to remember, I actually do need to keep my eye on the sheet music for the entire song. But with my trusty sheet music, I'm invincible. I could play the songs with my eyes closed (as long as I could peak occasionally at the printed notes).

At 11pm we step on stage to do a brief sound check, so the sound guy (who couldn't make it to the afternoon sound check) could do a quick run through of our mix. While on stage I discovered the lighting was much darker than I had anticipated. My sheet music was barely legible. Also, I noticed that the instrument selection buttons on my old Roland keyboard where in complete darkness, since it was the lower keyboard on the two-tier setup and always in the shadow of the one above. And this keyboard does not have any indicator lights when choosing an instrument. I am not totally alarmed by this, because part of me was expecting this problem. But I hadn't realized just how large a problem it would be.

Here ends part 1.