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Jan. 2nd, 2004 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
realexplodingcatToday, this cat came sniffing around at my door, blatantly ignoring the words on the mat. I stepped outside to see what it wanted and it threw itself at my mercy. Just rolled right over and begged me to pet it. Also begged to be let inside.
If only young girls had thrown themselves on my front porch when I was in high school as often as cats do now.
I tell the cat this.
The shrugs and asks, "Where can I eat some weeds?"
"All kinds in the yard," I say.
"Dude, man, some grass!"
"That's in the yard, too."
"No, man, DRUGS! Where can I score some DRUGS!"
This cat informed me that word on the street has it that my wife is leaving out dime-bags of catnip in the backyard. The cat handed me some photographic evidence of another cat chewing on this bag. Minutes later, the same cat is high as a kite in March. Appalled by these allegations, I run to my backyard to see if it has indeed become a kitty crack den. Sure enough, there's a cat standing there hallucinating like a shaman on a mountain top. The cat stares at me and I swear I can hear it say, "Wwwwhhooaaa, you're such a big mouse."
I think I need to have a word with my wife. I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with the moral and social implications of her becoming a dealer of kitty dope.
If only young girls had thrown themselves on my front porch when I was in high school as often as cats do now.
I tell the cat this.
The shrugs and asks, "Where can I eat some weeds?"
"All kinds in the yard," I say.
"Dude, man, some grass!"
"That's in the yard, too."
"No, man, DRUGS! Where can I score some DRUGS!"
This cat informed me that word on the street has it that my wife is leaving out dime-bags of catnip in the backyard. The cat handed me some photographic evidence of another cat chewing on this bag. Minutes later, the same cat is high as a kite in March. Appalled by these allegations, I run to my backyard to see if it has indeed become a kitty crack den. Sure enough, there's a cat standing there hallucinating like a shaman on a mountain top. The cat stares at me and I swear I can hear it say, "Wwwwhhooaaa, you're such a big mouse."
I think I need to have a word with my wife. I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with the moral and social implications of her becoming a dealer of kitty dope.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 07:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 07:16 pm (UTC)How the hell did my cat get all the way to Charlottesville?
(Not that cat, the other one. Nala. Scritch Slut.)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 07:21 pm (UTC)I'd say that Jos and Tom are bad influences on the local feline population, but I have never lived in a city with such friendly cats--and they were like this before Jos and Tom got here. I think there's Kitty Thorazine in the water.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 10:42 pm (UTC)Isn't that how Jos and Tom met?
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 04:18 pm (UTC)...or I could just bring
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 04:30 pm (UTC)have you been painting again? my fingers itch.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-04 06:07 am (UTC)Hey, /I'm/ not allergic to cats. I love kitties, except when they wake me up this early in the morning.
have you been painting again? my fingers itch.
No paint. I'm allergic to charcoal, not paint. The only thing I've been doing is reading & sleeping, so maybe you're now allergic to books & beds :P
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 08:19 am (UTC)They all work wonders as downers for neurotic cats. Of course, that's a long lasting down, so use caution and get an alibi before using.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 09:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-12 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-12 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-13 03:39 am (UTC)We need a new "go away" mat. The old one is getting faded. Maybe the cat couldn't read it clearly.