Rock N Roll the Cradle

[realexplodingcat]

I played a show with Terminal Ready last Saturday. I don't think I was at my best, after missing several practices, but I had it together well enough to put on a good show. It was fun, as always. I'm not sure about the rest of the band, but it was a chill evening for me. The venue, Outback Lodge, is literally five minutes from my house. I was there at 8pm, loaded in, sound checked, and back home at 9:30pm where I proceeded to relax with my sleeping son while krasota showered and accomplished a few things. Then, I was out the door and back at the Outback Lodge by 11:30 for a midnight show.

Yup, I have a son. I haven't said much about it, because Krasota has been posting all the details from conception through now. For the rare individuals who don't also read her journal, the baby boy is officially a month old as of yesterday.

I do hope I can keep up with the band and I have no intention to do otherwise. I really want to set an example for my son. I want to continue to be a performing musician in some way or another, so it can be in his life as he grows up. I want him to realize that you can do that sort of thing when you get old, either professionally or on the side. When I was a child, I never made the connection that "real" people were in rock bands or acted in plays and movies.

I certainly don't want to set an agenda for what I hope he becomes when he's older. What I wish to do is show him as many options as possible through my own experience. That means attempting to keep a careful balance of raising him, being a musician, being a software developer, being a writer, being the guy who washes the dishes, being a hiker and nature lover, and being the crazy yoga Dad who stands on his head in the living room. His birth hasn't changed my desire to do too many things at one time. If anything, it's strengthened it, because I want to share it all with him.

Comments

[mustelidmania.livejournal.com]

congratulations on that cute little boy. And it made me tear up reading this entry. Go for it. You are going to be a great dad. You are already, and you will just get better.

[bedbugsbite.livejournal.com]

ditto to that.

Also, it makes me smile to hear (or read, rather) you talk about your wee lad. He's adorable and I think he'll be a more rounded boy because he's got such a great dad.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

I'm pleased to have brought a smile to your face. If my son keeps nursing as much as he is now he's going to be a very round boy.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Do you still have a Rod Stewart onesy for him? We need to get together and show off the boy in person.

[mustelidmania.livejournal.com]

absolutely can't wait!!!!!!

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

We've got family visiting this weekend. Maybe sometime next week?

[ex-xn667.livejournal.com]

oh to be a fly on the wall the first time the syllables da and da trip off of Ronan's lips, heh. you have the makings of a fine dad, imho, and Ronan's life will be the envy of all the other tykes.

mondo congratulations on your one month lunaversary of dadhood :)

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Where has the word "lunaversary" been all my life? I like it.

One thing that Ronan has in his father that just seems like good luck, not necessarily anything that's inherently my nature, is my current situation of working from home. I'm really glad for myself, and for him, that I can be a constant presence in his early life.

[ex-xn667.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I'm original enough to have coined it first, but I'll give credit for "lunaversary" to the gods of Neolog, for I am a Neologist and practice shameless Neologism.

"Work-at-home dad" is definitely a rare gift (for both of you) :) I can't help but to think the whole family will be all the closer for it *g* [note to world: look out...Ronan has inherited *both* of those brains]

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Ronan is poised to conquer the world. As soon he stops pooping his pants.

[flynnk.livejournal.com]

Hey, woo-hoo, by the way! I haven't officially set Yeah! to you guys yet. :)

We want to meet the little guy soon!

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Won't be long before we can say Woo Hoo to you too. Boo. Moo. A Goo. Just wanted to add some more oo's.

I'd love for you to meet him. Do you have time to visit Charlottesville, before travelling becomes more challenging for you two? We're not doing a lot of travelling just yet. Ronan is on a pretty demanding nursing schedule right now. And I swear the required car seat laws are evil. I know they're necessary, but (if he's not asleep) he hates being forcibly separated from us. The car seat is like a torture device. "Put him in the comfy chair!"

[parhelion-spark.livejournal.com]

Congrats!

And man, I think the showing-him-real-people-can-totally-do-this-stuff! mentality is wonderful, since I grew up with the same impressions you did (and this kept me back from aspiring to anything musical when I was younger, because it wasn't 'practical')...

..just, absolutely, whatever you do, don't tell him he can be a genuine swashbuckling pirate.
I can tell you from experience, finding out the truth of that matter fucks a kid up something -massive-.
Ruins reality FOREVER. and ever. and ever.

Just so you know. :D

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Oh NO! You mean I can't be a pirate? That's what I was planning to do for my career switch during my mid-life crisis.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Darlin', y'all are doing fine. Frankly, I can't imagine better parents for a kid.

I have 2 kids. I still write and paint, and they know what that means to me. And they know that they have a mom who has a Jack Sparrow poster on her bedroom wall, gets calls from the gallery when they are at the apartment, makes really sloppy burritos, and wears stripey socks. They know that Mommy has to listen to her music in the morning until she has her coffee, has been known to say "FUCK!!!" very loudly when things aren't working out and "oooooh, shiny" when yarn is involved.

In short, my dear....you'll be fine. And the kid will be happy. And, frankly, much better off because you are living your life.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

I have had this urge to fulfill stupid ideas with my kid's help, because he'll totally be into it when he's older. Every time I pick up a carton of eggs, I want to start throwing them. I want to invite him into the back yard for an egg fight! And a baguette duel!

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

His birth hasn't changed my desire to do too many things at one time. If anything, it's strengthened it, because I want to share it all with him.

I can't think of a better attitude to have. I think you and Jos will be great parents.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[briskpepper.livejournal.com]

we *heart* you.


When i was younger, it was made very clear to me that i can "DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO, IF I TRY HARD ENOUGH", so long as it didn't include any kind of, even remotely bohemian lifestyle. That's not to say the powers-that-be were unsupportive, but rather for as supportive as they were, they were equally dismissive.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

I had the same sort of situation growing up. My parents were, and continue to be, very supportive, but they are pretty straight-laced and conservative when it comes to careers. They let me do what I want, for the most part, but there was always a fair amount of worrying outloud at me that I found discouraging. Even now, after I performed in the Hedwig show at LiveArts, my mother said, "Now don't get any ideas. You can't make any money doing that." I can remember my father getting all worried about my long hair. "How are you going to get a job?" Well, I showed him by getting a job with the VERY SAME company he works for. I attended the interview with my long hair and wearing combat boots.

[laverick.livejournal.com]

when i was growing up, my dad was the bass player for my brother's '80s rock band. He wore make up like the guys from Kiss, dubbed himself "Mr. Nobody", and dressed like Michael Jackson a la the days of Thriller. Everyone, including me, thought he was the coolest thing. He also was a painter, eventually he became trained to be a computer technician, and was a stay at home dad for many years. I cherished the quality time I had with him.

So, I think Ronan is very blessed indeed to have such a well-rounded and hip Dad (and Mom too!). I think it's wonderful that you are so dedicated to holding onto all of those parts of yourself and wanting to share them with your son. It's a lovely thing indeed.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Awesome. What was the band's name?