realexplodingcat: (Default)
explodingcat ([personal profile] realexplodingcat) wrote2008-04-23 11:23 pm

Manly man doing manly stuff.

Before becoming the father of a boy I never intentionally explored my masculinity. This should come as no surprise to those of you who have seen me intentionally wear women's clothing (usually on stage, in front of an audience, to maximize the humiliation). After my son was born, I grew a beard. That was just the beginning. I also bathe less, no longer listen attentively to my wife, and prefer the company of my lawn mower. To celebrate my son's birthday, I took the next step and bought a propane grill (I have to work my way up to charcoal, which is further up the masculine ladder beyond caber tossing).

It felt great cooking for the first time today. Open flames. Beautiful weather. Baby in one arm, hot poker in the other. Cayenne in the eyes. This is the stuff of which men are made. However, one thing struck me as very unmanly: cleaning the grill. Do you really need to clean the grill as thoroughly as the instructions describe? Cleaning isn't very manly (of course neither is reading the instructions), so I don't understand why grilling appeals to men. I'd rather clean a cast iron pot or a steel pan any day. So, what gives? Men of the world, how often do I need to clean my grill?

[identity profile] klwalton.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
If Tim had an LJ, this is what he'd say:

"Ha ha ha giggle snort hee heh *wipes tears of laughter from eyes* haaaah.

Clean the grill? What the *hell* are you talking about!?"

[identity profile] mactavish.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
My host father on the farm in Australia thought I was a city girl and tried to shock me, when I noted that our grill was a sheet of steel held up by bricks, with room for a fire underneath, by telling me that it was "seasoned with possum piss."

He learned not to try to shock me after awhile -- I think when I asked whether they breaded the sheep testicles with breadcrumbs or just flour before deep-frying.

[identity profile] lightning-rose.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:56 am (UTC)(link)

Fire clean grill. Fire kill all. Fire good.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for putting it into language I can understand.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That sounds like an answer I can trust!

[identity profile] mactavish.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Dude: YOU HAVE A DOG.

After it cools off, put it on the ground. It'll be fine.

[identity profile] briskpepper.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
well played, [livejournal.com profile] mactavish. Well played.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Even higher up the ladder of manliness, somewhere above tearing dictionaries in half with your bare hands, is letting the dog clean the baby's cloth diapers. For some reason, the wife won't let me do that.

[identity profile] elizebethjoy.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a manly woman. I say you don't clean the grill. You can give it a quick scrub while it's still warm with something coated in metal, and let the guck (technical term) fall into the flames (if there are still flames). The rest can stay and will likely just be burned to "flavor" by the fire the next time you cook.

Makes food taste better, is easier than cleaning, and safer than eating Easy Off.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Awesome. I'm definitely inclined to grill more if cleaning isn't necessary.

[identity profile] 98.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Just scrape off the big bits into the fire. Preheating next time will take care of the little bits. None of that counts as 'cleaning' so it is still manly.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
That sounds manly. Kind of like caring for cast iron pots. Just a little scraping.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
You're laughing because I tried to clean it, aren't you?

[identity profile] michellew.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a girl, but I use fire.

Also, I just scrape my cast iron. I like manly cooking items.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
So far, all my answers have been from girls. I'm beginning to reevaluate grilling's reputation as a masculine activity.
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
That would explain why the first thing I cooked on the grill didn't really have that grilled flavor.

[identity profile] nannar.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
A dirty grill is a seasoned grill. Leave it on for a bit after cooking.

Only clean it when it is screaming at you that it needs it.

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
More things should only require cleaning after screaming.

Babies ain't manly

[identity profile] terrapingardens.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry, but you lost me on the manliness when you mentioned holding the baby while grilling. Dude, leave the rugrat with the women folk shucking the corn and fussing with the ... what do they call it...uhhh... froot? fruit? When you are done grilling your meat, walk away. When it's time to grill again, order your wife to clean the dammed thing... preferably with a toothbrush. You can't possibly have any cajones under that apron.

shit. Wife saw me typing this...

COMING DEAR!

Re: Babies ain't manly

[identity profile] explodingcat.livejournal.com 2008-04-24 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I love the make-up you're wearing in the user icon! Is it MAC or Sephora? Oh, I bet a manly man like you compounds his own!

Re: Babies ain't manly

[identity profile] terrapingardens.livejournal.com 2008-04-25 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
I use whatever you let me borrow!