(no subject)

[realexplodingcat]

Since learning that both basking sharks and alligators spend much of their time with their mouths wide open, my wife has taken upon herself to do this. She either zooms through the apartment, mouth agape, or skulks in corners, jaws hanging slack.

Now, this is how basking sharks eat, so when she's on the move, I'm on my toes. Nobody knows why alligators do it--temperature modulation, air tasting, boredom, stupidity. So when she's hiding in corners, I've decided to not approach. She doesn't have the gills I was promised back in February, so I'm going to assume she's not going to indiscriminately snap, but she does have jaw problems that can cause some rather powerful snap-shut reactions. And the torque she's capable of is nothing to brush off.

She still has some redeeming qualities. She made pie on Friday. Then, she dragged us up to the mountaintop on Saturday to pick more apples while chanting "Pie Jesu".

Yes, Pie.

Chanting about pie while getting bonked in the head with wee Newtonian experiments in blush and golden. This is what my life has become.

Comments

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

it could be worse. it could have been coconuts with her singing that song they did in Lion King (I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..la de dah....)

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

And she would have mustered the strength to climb the trees so should could throw the coconuts down at me. I wonder if there are pick-your-own coconut groves. Especially the kind from really tall trees that you need to climb as if you were sliding up a fireman's pole. Fruit picking for amateur thrill seekers. The could be the a beginner's area with short trees and ladders. There could be an advanced area filled with monkeys that throw bananas at you as you try to climb the trees.