(no subject)

[realexplodingcat]

Either a certain evil kitty, evilrumor, can teleport, or she has minions in Virginia.

The other night the wife and I arrive home after a pleasant evening at the local goth club and before we can get in the house we hear the sorrowful cries of a cat out in the darkness that is our yard. It sounds like the animal is in pain. So, we grab a tiny flashlight, the only one we can find, and venture forth into the dark forest corner of our yard. We find, high in the tree, a black and white cat staring down at us. Yelling over and over this sorrowful meow. Clearly the cat wanted to try to freeze us to death, its cries keeping us out there in the cold as we tried to figure out how to rescue it. We decided to try to climb the tree, which likely was playing right into the critter's evil plan. Once we got ourselves stuck in the tree, it would have eaten us. Leopards drag their kill into trees. Apparently this cat forgot that it needed to kill us on the ground, then drag us into the tree. No, this one decided to tree itself and see if we'd mortally wound ourselves trying to save it. We went back in the house to find a step stool to aid our climbing...and returned to find the cat no longer in the tree. Yet, it was still yelling for us. The cat clearly had no trouble getting out of the tree when we weren't looking at it, choosing to lurk in our driveway, still calling and crying. This time I suspect it was trying to lead us out into the road to play in traffic.

I suspect an untrained assassin sent by evilrumor. Evil Rumor would have jumped down from the tree and ate our heads in one bite.

Comments

[ismene.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha. That's funny.

[twilight-spirit.livejournal.com]

Man, I don't see what you're complaining about: there's plenty going on out in the sticks where you live! You have abandoned humankind to commune with animals and insects now, but little did you know how different their ways are! I have read now about hummingbirds, drunk moths and other various insects, giant spiders, mice, flyaway bats, and now evil ninja assassin kitties.

No wonder you're so stressed! ;)

You gotta get away from it all, man, move back to the 'burbs or even the city. If you want nature, that's what the Discovery channel is for. Highways and byways, hustle and bustle, strip malls and shopping centers, traffic lights and public transportation. It doesn't get much better than that. :)

T (who is being very ... *something* right now)

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, too much wildlife out here.

Seriously, I love the animals. If I could have all the animals and live in the city, that would rock. I have no fewer than 6 bird feeders here (7 if you include the cat food bowl which certain birds seem to enjoy). I'll be bringing those into town, so maybe I'll attract a flock of birds there.

You ever want to see something scary. Come out to our place on a very dark night. Walk down our long long driveway in the pitch black, and wait until your hear a snort off to your right. Shine a little flash light in that direction, and witness dozens and dozens of glowing jawa-like eyes staring at you. Yeah...the cows can be creepy in the dark.

[evilrumor.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention that I'm purtiful, too.

No comment on the teleportation thingy.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

SORRY! Yes, you're purtiful. Now, don't teleport over here and bite my head.