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Nov. 11th, 2003 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
realexplodingcatSome Morman boys came knocking at my door today. I was very polite. I let them do their thing and answered their questions honestly. As much as I dislike any kind of door-to-door service that is not delivering me my new iPod, I can't help but have some respect for anyone brave enough to go visit strangers who will more than likely reject them. And I have no problem with their religion, even if it is not my choice of faith. So, I was pleasant and allowed them to go in peace. However, sometimes I think the event should have gone like this:
DING DONG - I go to the door and see two young gentlemen in suits.
Mor-man1: Hello, we're from--
Me: Hold it! Let's do this properly. Let me close the door. You knock again, so I can properly greet you.
Door Closes...DING DONG...I open door after putting on a giant jackal head mask that nearly scrapes the top of the door frame.
Me: BOOONNNGGG! Why have you summoned me?
Mor-man1: We are from the Church of Mormon, I'm sure you've heard of us--
Me: Indeed! Are you wearing Mormon underwear?
Mor-man1: Er...yes?
Me: Prove it. I refuse to speak to impostors.
The older Mor-man1 instructs the younger fledging Mor-man2 to undress.
Me: Now, you sir, please document this occasion for me with this digital camera.
Please, you do the honors, I can't see very well through this giant Anubis head.
Pictures are taken, which I will later post on the internet. Mor-man1 nods to his younger protege, like a Momma bird pushing a baby out the nest to teach it to fly.
Mor-man2: Do you read the Bible?
Me: Every morning for breakfast. It's delicious. The onion skin paper doesn't get caught in my teeth. If you'd like to come in for lunch, I'm serving the Bhagavad Gita over saffron rice.
Mor-man2: Uh...you seem confused. If you are confused by the Bible, we have a guide that can help you. The Book of Mormon, written here in this country-
Me: Not only in this country, but in New Jersey! I am suspicious of any religion cooked up in New Jersey, but it would likely be delicious with the Garden State's fresh tomatoes and corn. It's always best to use local ingredients when preparing a book of faith. Have you ever tasted I Ching Chow Mein?
Mor-mans: No...
Me: How about Kafta Koran Shish Kabob?
Mor-mans: No...
Me: That's a shame, I have a ton of that leftover because my wife is menstruating now and can't touch it. How about--
The Mor-mans run...fast...
DING DONG - I go to the door and see two young gentlemen in suits.
Mor-man1: Hello, we're from--
Me: Hold it! Let's do this properly. Let me close the door. You knock again, so I can properly greet you.
Door Closes...DING DONG...I open door after putting on a giant jackal head mask that nearly scrapes the top of the door frame.
Me: BOOONNNGGG! Why have you summoned me?
Mor-man1: We are from the Church of Mormon, I'm sure you've heard of us--
Me: Indeed! Are you wearing Mormon underwear?
Mor-man1: Er...yes?
Me: Prove it. I refuse to speak to impostors.
The older Mor-man1 instructs the younger fledging Mor-man2 to undress.
Me: Now, you sir, please document this occasion for me with this digital camera.
Please, you do the honors, I can't see very well through this giant Anubis head.
Pictures are taken, which I will later post on the internet. Mor-man1 nods to his younger protege, like a Momma bird pushing a baby out the nest to teach it to fly.
Mor-man2: Do you read the Bible?
Me: Every morning for breakfast. It's delicious. The onion skin paper doesn't get caught in my teeth. If you'd like to come in for lunch, I'm serving the Bhagavad Gita over saffron rice.
Mor-man2: Uh...you seem confused. If you are confused by the Bible, we have a guide that can help you. The Book of Mormon, written here in this country-
Me: Not only in this country, but in New Jersey! I am suspicious of any religion cooked up in New Jersey, but it would likely be delicious with the Garden State's fresh tomatoes and corn. It's always best to use local ingredients when preparing a book of faith. Have you ever tasted I Ching Chow Mein?
Mor-mans: No...
Me: How about Kafta Koran Shish Kabob?
Mor-mans: No...
Me: That's a shame, I have a ton of that leftover because my wife is menstruating now and can't touch it. How about--
The Mor-mans run...fast...
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Date: 2003-11-13 12:53 pm (UTC)I dig that.