(no subject)
Jan. 20th, 2004 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
realexplodingcatThe federal government has finally come to me for help regarding a few domestic issues. Perhaps the current administration is looking for more election year attention grabbers. Perhaps this is just another ploy to divert my attention from the mess they've made of international affairs. They say to me, "Our country is going deeper into debt. Our prisons are over-crowded. Obesity is becoming national health crisis. What do we do?"
My suggestion: Legalize drugs. You'll have far fewer people in prison, saving you lots of money not paying for their room and board. Place very high taxes on these drugs, which would go a long way to alleviating budget problems. As for obesity? Offer untaxed, free drugs. String bags of them up on tall poles which would require people to engage in a significant amount of physical activity to reach the free drugs. Such exercise might be beneficial to reducing the obesity problem.
The government is still skeptical of my plan (particularly the last bit), so I told them I would give them a small scale, proof of concept demonstration. The tall pole = a bird feeder pole. The drugs = catnip. The people = cats. They said it wasn't exactly a scientific study, but I think the amount of research I did is probably comparable to the amount of preparation they did for post war reconstruction in Iraq.
Anyway, without further ado, I give you photographic evidence...of my plan...for solving America's...domestic problems.
My suggestion: Legalize drugs. You'll have far fewer people in prison, saving you lots of money not paying for their room and board. Place very high taxes on these drugs, which would go a long way to alleviating budget problems. As for obesity? Offer untaxed, free drugs. String bags of them up on tall poles which would require people to engage in a significant amount of physical activity to reach the free drugs. Such exercise might be beneficial to reducing the obesity problem.
The government is still skeptical of my plan (particularly the last bit), so I told them I would give them a small scale, proof of concept demonstration. The tall pole = a bird feeder pole. The drugs = catnip. The people = cats. They said it wasn't exactly a scientific study, but I think the amount of research I did is probably comparable to the amount of preparation they did for post war reconstruction in Iraq.
Anyway, without further ado, I give you photographic evidence...of my plan...for solving America's...domestic problems.
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Date: 2004-01-21 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 04:29 am (UTC)who would remove the last persons thumb?? and how would we write, to keep record of things??
too many questions... i like the idea though! :P
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Date: 2004-01-22 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 03:56 am (UTC)Fortunately, the federal government won't be hanging yours from a pole. Yay!